The best coconut song ever.

When you take our farm tour, you'll notice a theme in the background music. We run a coconut heavy playlist, each song having strong coconut references in the lyrics. The genres span from reggae to country, techno to choir. Listening to this playlist over the years led us to question - What is the best coconut song of all time?

We did a deep background check into each singer on our Cooking Class Playlist and then developed a two part scoring system based on mentions and authenticity.

Mentions- Anytime “coco” or “coconut” is mentioned 1 point is awarded.

Authenticity - Case by case basis, up to 20 points.

Here are the top coconut songs of all time, lets crown a champion -

On A Cocoanut Island - Luis Armstrong, 1931

A personal favorite, this is the song we play upon guests arrival to our cooking class. It sets a relaxing tone for the day. Written in early 1931, this melody transports the listener to a simpler time. A few lines in and you’ll find yourself happily marooned on the coconut island of your dreams. Written by Harry Owens, who became the music director at Waikiki’s Royal Hawaiian Hotel. Owens was a major influence of early Hawaiian music, his time in Hawaii scores this song some authenticity points.

Best line : “On a coconut island, there wouldn't be so very much to do.”

Mentions - 9

Authenticity - 9

Coconut  - Harry Nilsson - 1971

Arguably the most well known coconut song of all time, spending 14 weeks on the billboard top 10 list, after which “put the lime in the coconut” was forever etched into the collective unconscious. The song is tough to score for authenticity. While it has a strong Caribbean sound, Nilsson was born in NY and later lived in California. In the song, a woman drinks a coconut, gets a bellyache, calls her doctor in middle of the night and complains. The doctor recommends she put a lime in a coconut, “drink em both up” and call him back in the morning. We approve of the remedy.

Best Line : “You put the lime in the coconut and drink em both up.”

Mentions - 28

Authenticity - 7

Coconut Tree - Kenny Chesney & Willie Nelson - 2013

Another one of my personal favorites, I love the way this song makes me relax and forget about my worries. It’s like “Margaritaville” got blended up with country music and then a gentle Hawaiian breeze blew though it. Yah its that good! Willie Nelson lives on Maui adding some authenticity points. Unfortunately no one told Kenny Chesney coconuts come in lots of colors besides green and that you can’t “shake the good ones down” (you gotta twist them). Are we being too strict? Probably not.

Best Line : “Lets get high in a coconut tree”

Mentions - 16

Authenticity - 5

Cocoanut Woman - Harry Belafonte - 1957

Harry was raised in Jamaica, living with his grandmother from 5 years old to 13. I imagine Harry writing this song as a celebration and tribute to the coconut street vendors of his childhood. The song drips with authenticity. Coconut vendors are the essence of small town beach life and the lyrics are a laundry list of coconut’s health benefits. Its possible no other singer on this list loved coconuts more than Harry and I’m tempted to give him a bonus point for his old world spelling of cocoanut.

Best Line : “Coco got alot of iron, make you strong like a lion.”

Authenticity - 20

Mentions - 18

Coconut Water - Robert Mitchum - 1957

This song tells the story of a man who moved to America but yearns to return to the tropics where he will drink his beloved coconut water and regain the vigor of his youth. Great story, but Robert was born in Connecticut and never really left the states. He was an actor, starring primarily in western films. Roberts album “Calypso” was unauthentic at best and capitalized on genuine Caribbean music popular at the time. The song is basically a knock off of Harry Belafonte’s hit released the same year. My guess is Robert couldn’t open a coconut to save his life.

Best Line : “Drink the coconut water”

Authenticity - 2

Mentions - 25

Da Coconut Nut (The Coconut Song) - The San Miguel Master Chorale - 2004

An extremely catchy song but upon reviewing the lyrics, one with a dark intent. The San Miguel Master Chorale was funded by the largest food company in the Philiipines and “the coconut song” was basically a propaganda piece. The song encourages people to cut down their coconut trees and make them into firewood! Cut down your food source and become dependent on the biggest processed food company in the country? No thanks. The lyrics also contain a gargantuan lie about coconuts, that “if you eat too much you get very fat”.  Ironically obesity is on the rise in the Phillipines as natives abandon their traditional foods and eat more processed foods. The choir was disbanded in 2007, fine by us.

Best line : “The coconut is a giant nut, but this delicious nut is not a nut!”

Authenticity - 0

Mentions - 42 (the highest of any coconut song ever)

Disqualified

Coconut Girl - Brother Nolan - 1983

An Hawaiian hit from the 80's, “Coconut Girl” was more than a song, it became a household saying. The juxtapostion of simple island life and big city life clashed during this time period as Hawaii grew too fast for anyone’s liking. Nolan seems saddened by Hawaii's beauties getting caught up in “the hollywood scene” and wants to know who is responsible for it. Nolan is credited with being the father of Jahwaiian music which is still hugely popular today. He now runs a series of nature and subsistence-advocacy camps on Molokai and published The Hawaiian Survival Handbook, a guide to living off the land in Hawaiʻi, making him by far the most authentic coconut singer on the list.

Best line : “She’s a coconut girl in a high fashion world”

Authenticity - 20

Mentions - 13

The scores are in and have been tallied.

The winners are -

# 1 - Harry Belafonte’s Cocoanut Woman - 38 points

#2 - Harry Nilsson Coconut - 35 points

#3 - Brother Nolan Coconut Girl - 33 points